In graduate school, my thesis research paper was on falling with the elderly. The number one contributing factor in people who fall is the fear of falling. Not lower body weakness, not hip replacements, not dementia but FEAR.
My husband just finished an extensive training to get his motorcycle license. In the training, they discussed how to avoid accidents and told him if there is an object in the road that you might hit (a rock or a log or road kill etc), do not look at the object. Look where you are going, beyond the obstacle toward your destination. If you look at the obstacle, you will more than likely hit it and ultimately crash.
I do not spend much if any time reviewing other diastasis programs. I realize there are many options out there and I know people doing this work have passion and believe in what they do. I spend most of my "free" time further my understanding of how the body functions and heals and how to improve or add to what we do at The Tummy Team. I have no desire to critique other programs and I do not feel the need to be competitive or compare them with us. Sadly, there are more than enough hurting people to go around and there are many different approaches to healing. Instead, I focus on helping people better understand what we do at The Tummy Team and even more importantly why we do it this way.
That being said, the number one common factor in clients we work with who have worked in other programs before The Tummy Team is that they are living (at some level) in fear. Some of these clients are completely controlled by this fear and others are simply living a life less than God's best due to fear. The fear of moving wrong, the fear of having another baby, the fear of damaging themselves further, the fear of exercising, the fear of having sex with their husbands, the fear of sleeping wrong, the fear of picking up their child wrong, the fear of doing one wrong move and ruining all their hard work. The list can go on and on but you get the point. Ironically this fear is often the most common factor that keeps clients from completely healing.
To quote The Hunger Games, "the one thing more powerful than fear is hope". But what do we do when we are afraid to hope? We take a step of faith and choose to hope anyway. Hope does not mean you know all the answers before hand. Hope does not mean there is an absolutely clear path ahead of you. Hope is risky. Hope always take a step of faith. And "faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Heb 11:1. Yes, I just quoted The Hunger Games and the Bible in the same paragraph. I believe there are many ways we are exposed to Truth :).
Hope can come in knowing our bodies were perfectly designed. Do you know how was your body designed? Your body was designed for balance, strength, mobility and for a long life. You were designed to move in many ways. You have completely unbelievable capabilities. Your bodies were designed for constant movement and activity. Your bodies are efficient and trainable and have the ability to heal. But more than anything our bodies function on demand. That "use it or lose it" theory we talk about so much. Ultimately, your bodies do what we ask them to do.
So if you ask them to sit collapsed and inactive all day, that is what they will do. If you ask your body to hike one hip and arch your back to rest your baby on your hip for hours at a time, that is what it will try to do. Do not expect a body which is inactive and physically collapsed all day be able to effectively do an extreme workout for 30 min 3 times a week. What we do the most wins, so if you are consistently using your muscles to hold you up and be an active participant in your daily movements, they will be less likely to fail you when you ask for a little more.
The first stage of our Core Rehabilitation programs at The Tummy Team is awareness. Awareness helps you make better choices. Awareness keeps you from unintentionally continuing to hurt yourself. Awareness is power. Awareness should not create an atmosphere of fear but rather an atmosphere of hope. When you realize your body has become injured, you want to understand what contributed to your injury AND how to fix it. If you know how to fix it but not how to stop creating the injury, you will not heal completely. If you know how you injured yourself but not how to fix it, you will live in despair and frustration. Understanding what your body needs to do to heal is intended to give you power and understanding of your bodies current limitations, not give you fear and anger at those limitations.
Against what our culture encourages, there is freedom in boundaries. There is power in limitations. Understanding your particular limitations at certain time will keep you from making choices that will ultimately further limit you. For example, if you love to run but your body is telling you now that when you run your hips and knees hurt, ignoring that boundary and continuing to run through the pain can ultimately cause damage that will forever keep you from running. The boundary is a gift. We hardly see this as true but it is. Boundaries are an act of love, a way to protect us and help us flourish. Not stifle us and restrain us. Think of the boundaries you give your children, it is in love that you give them limitations. You body is designed in love and the limitations and optimal function of our body protects us and allows us to flourish. It allows us to have the longevity, mobility, strength, and endurance that it was designed for.
Awareness is not the same as obsession. Think of the motorcycle example. If we become obsessed about one thing, that will ultimately consume us and distort our perception. As when driving the motorcycle, you are aware that the obstacle is there but your focus is on your destination not the obstacle.
Fear of movement will keep you from using your body to its full capacity. But carelessly ignoring what your body is telling you is not the answer. Awareness and balance. Understanding where you are and what you need to do to get where you want to be. Educate yourself. Understand the why. Then take that risky step of faith to hope and continue to take one step at a time.
The Tummy Team is very intentional about everything we do. We guide you step by step to progress your body to be strong, stable and capable of what you need it to do. It is much more about what your body is consistently capable of more than what it looks like (even though when it works better, you feel better and look better). The function is the goal.
But fear has no part in the journey.
I wish I could just magically wipe away those fears and help you trust but that is part of your journey. I have learned there is much more going on in this journey of healing than just pulling two sides of the abdominal wall together. Nothing is wasted.
I encourage you to trust, knowing you are not alone and not the first person on this journey. So many have gone before you and found healing and strength and the elimination of pain and fear. You can do it to. Do not be afraid. Trust the perfect design of your body and let us help you get back to that design.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
A Story of Healing after a Devasting Loss~ Sarah, mother of a baby girl in heaven.
Dear Kelly,
Here is my story. I have never thought of myself as a good
writer, but I want to encourage other women to find healing that I have.
:-)
May God bless you and I look forward to working with you again sometime.
Sarah
My Story~
I have always been a "abs and obliques "
girl. Not considering myself a athletic person, I was very fit when it
came to strong lean tummy; topping my 500 situps in a row record in my
teens and making a favorite of core “insanity" exercise program right
before getting married at 25. My core was strong and together, but very
tight. I had never heard of a “transverse” before.
Being
due to have our first baby in July, I heard of a class on how to
"bounce back after having a baby" in April and went enthusiastically
being always eager to learn how to keep a tight tummy. I met Bethany Learn
there and had a paradigm shift, adding "transverse" to my vocabulary and
realizing abs and obliques weren't everything. Bethany checked me for a diastasis and I had a 3 finger separation already. At that time I bought a splint and tried to remember a couple things Bethany taught but but did not pursue further.
In July I went into labor and after 5 long days and 9 cm we transferred to the hospital for a cesarean and sadly lost our little girl. Needless to say, my core was tired; and I was physically and emotionally traumatized. I disconnected with my tummy and didn’t like to touch it, think about it or look at it. My scar was avoided above all. At that time I could fit a full hand in the separation of the transverse. I splinted because it felt good and that’s all I remembered how to do.
Three months after we lost our baby, I built up the courage to call Bethany at Fit2B and she referred me to Kelly Dean at The Tummy Team. I didn’t want to deal with that part of my body, but my desire to be healthy enough to have another baby spurred me on. That’s when my story of healing began.
Kelly was encouraging and supportive, making the “exercise as daily habits” seem attainable and easy. She encouraged me to start massaging my tummy and learning to reconnect to my core with engaging breathing which slow began my healing both physically and emotionally. The most amazing part was that there was real measurable progress in just 2 weeks.
There are a few things Kelly said that really helped me have better follow through perseverance.
“Even if you skip a day and don’t do any of the exercises, don’t be discouraged. Just pick up where you left off and keep going”
“You may confront new emotions when massaging your core; they are completely natural, just keep connecting until it feels normal.”
“Just one step at a time.”
“Stay long lean and lifted”
“ I know its hard but you can do it”
“You are a daughter of the King.”
“You have a lot of of strength, you just need to connect to it again.”
Anyone can do it. Even the busiest mother. The key is being willing and The Tummy Team will teach you the tools and help you create habits to incorporate into daily tasks.
Over the next 6 weeks it seemed as if I was learning all the basic tasks over. How to breathe, sit, stand, have a bowel movement, walk and even empty the dishwasher! I started to have amazing posture and people in my life noticed and even started having better posture too. My husband loves the “new me” and even reminds me when I forget to engage my core.
I have become more graceful and tall, walking like the royalty that I now know I am.
I am approaching 5 months mark since my little Kendrah went to be with Jesus. I am starting to feel whole again. My body feels connected to my heart and my mind. I love how my reconnection to my core has helped me reclaime myself in a new way, feeling better than I did before getting pregnant. I thank God for bringing healing through Kelly and I am looking forward to being a mother of many children when God sees fit.
I encourage anyone reading this to take a leap of faith for yourself, your children or your husband; because it is worth it. If you choose to, you can reclaim who you are one step at a time.
Sarah~ mother of one baby girl in heaven
In July I went into labor and after 5 long days and 9 cm we transferred to the hospital for a cesarean and sadly lost our little girl. Needless to say, my core was tired; and I was physically and emotionally traumatized. I disconnected with my tummy and didn’t like to touch it, think about it or look at it. My scar was avoided above all. At that time I could fit a full hand in the separation of the transverse. I splinted because it felt good and that’s all I remembered how to do.
Three months after we lost our baby, I built up the courage to call Bethany at Fit2B and she referred me to Kelly Dean at The Tummy Team. I didn’t want to deal with that part of my body, but my desire to be healthy enough to have another baby spurred me on. That’s when my story of healing began.
Kelly was encouraging and supportive, making the “exercise as daily habits” seem attainable and easy. She encouraged me to start massaging my tummy and learning to reconnect to my core with engaging breathing which slow began my healing both physically and emotionally. The most amazing part was that there was real measurable progress in just 2 weeks.
There are a few things Kelly said that really helped me have better follow through perseverance.
“Even if you skip a day and don’t do any of the exercises, don’t be discouraged. Just pick up where you left off and keep going”
“You may confront new emotions when massaging your core; they are completely natural, just keep connecting until it feels normal.”
“Just one step at a time.”
“Stay long lean and lifted”
“ I know its hard but you can do it”
“You are a daughter of the King.”
“You have a lot of of strength, you just need to connect to it again.”
Anyone can do it. Even the busiest mother. The key is being willing and The Tummy Team will teach you the tools and help you create habits to incorporate into daily tasks.
Over the next 6 weeks it seemed as if I was learning all the basic tasks over. How to breathe, sit, stand, have a bowel movement, walk and even empty the dishwasher! I started to have amazing posture and people in my life noticed and even started having better posture too. My husband loves the “new me” and even reminds me when I forget to engage my core.
I have become more graceful and tall, walking like the royalty that I now know I am.
I am approaching 5 months mark since my little Kendrah went to be with Jesus. I am starting to feel whole again. My body feels connected to my heart and my mind. I love how my reconnection to my core has helped me reclaime myself in a new way, feeling better than I did before getting pregnant. I thank God for bringing healing through Kelly and I am looking forward to being a mother of many children when God sees fit.
I encourage anyone reading this to take a leap of faith for yourself, your children or your husband; because it is worth it. If you choose to, you can reclaim who you are one step at a time.
Sarah~ mother of one baby girl in heaven
Monday, December 16, 2013
Identity of Brokenness
Why is it hard to hope?
We work with men and women but most of our clients seem to be women and often women with very similar stories. The Tummy Team specializes in core rehabilitation however most people do not truely understand what their "core" is. Not only do we not understand the physical nature of the muscles but we also do not understand the emotional and spiritual nature of our "core".
The "core" is the structure and the foundation that everything else is built upon. It is the stabilizing force that allows for effective, pain free movement. It is the internal support for all of our external activity. It is essential for life. It is essential spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Many of our clients are women who come to us weak, disconnected from their core and ultimately feeling broken. At some time in their life they were either violated, hurt or rejected. At some point in their life they believed on some level that their body failed them (abuse, injury, infertility, miscarriage, rape,difficult birth, unexpected c-section, poor birth recovery, etc). At some point they had to survive and push through. At some point they found themselves feeling like they were somehow living in a strangers body. Disconnected and weak. And many have sought help and received little encouragement. Many have chosen to accept weakness, pain, disconnect and more. Many have believed this is the cost of motherhood and growing older as a woman. Others have become obsessed with looking for solutions. Obsessed with all of the broken pieces of themselves. Obsessed with analyzing and evaluating every piece of themselves that is not working. Whether they have given up or are obsessively seeking help- most have little to no hope of getting better.
It is interesting how many women come to us at The Tummy Team and have very little hope or expectation that they will get better. Our first session is almost completely based on helping these clients to understand how their body was designed and why it is not functioning well and to give them HOPE. Some of our clients cling to this hope like it is a lifeline. Sadly many of our clients on some level reject the hope. It seems just too hard to hope. At least in the beginning. As we slowly begin changing things, hope starts to spring up, only to be squashed by the fear of healing.
Why would we be afraid to heal?
Healing can be scary. When we have decided to accept our situation (usually not an easy task),the thought of hoping with the risk of disappointment can be overwhelming. If we have adjusted our entire life around our weakness or our pain, it can be terrifying to consider what life might be like without those adjustments. We sadly can use pain and brokenness as a soft padding that buffers us from the world, that excuses us from connecting or investing or really living. If we have spent a large part of our life looking for "cures" or "treatments" or explanations for why cannot do certain things- without that need, what will we do with our time?
The truth is you were placed here to live your story. Our stories are not without pain and suffering. However, the truth is your body was created out of a perfect design. The truth is women were designed to have babies and not fall apart. The truth is our bodies were designed for a beautiful balance between stability and mobility. The truth is pain is your bodies way of revealing its boundaries so you will protect yourself. The truth is you were not designed to live broken, merely surviving and powering through life. The truth is you were designed to thrive and stand tall and walk as a glorious daughter of the one true King. The truth is healing is available.
There is a difference between hope and expectation. We as humans cannot help but compare ourselves to others and place expectations and therefore disappointment on our perceived failures. We all have a story. We all have our own unique journey. (I believe nothing is wasted in these stories.) We have hope in all things and we expect that healing will happen, yet we must be open to what that healing will look like.
Remember what the "core" is. The "core" is the structure and the foundation that everything else is built upon. It is the stabilizing force that allows for effective, pain free movement. It is the internal support for all of our external activity. It is essential for life. So healing your core is much more about what you are healing on the inside than simply what we look like on the outside.
As a culture, we focus so much on the external components of our life and even in our bodies and we forget that without the inside being solid, eventually the outside fades and fails. It is from within that healing comes. It is the structure, that sometimes you cannot see but you can absolutely feel that begins the transformation process.
Do not be afraid. You were not designed for an identity of brokenness. You were fearfully and wonderfully made.
In our clients we see true healing occur once they trust the truth. Once they trust that their body was designed for strength and balance. Once they believe in the power of the perfect design to heal and thrive. There are often external changes that are evident, but these changes are always as a result of an internal restoration. The light shines out of that solid foundation.
We work with men and women but most of our clients seem to be women and often women with very similar stories. The Tummy Team specializes in core rehabilitation however most people do not truely understand what their "core" is. Not only do we not understand the physical nature of the muscles but we also do not understand the emotional and spiritual nature of our "core".
The "core" is the structure and the foundation that everything else is built upon. It is the stabilizing force that allows for effective, pain free movement. It is the internal support for all of our external activity. It is essential for life. It is essential spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Many of our clients are women who come to us weak, disconnected from their core and ultimately feeling broken. At some time in their life they were either violated, hurt or rejected. At some point in their life they believed on some level that their body failed them (abuse, injury, infertility, miscarriage, rape,difficult birth, unexpected c-section, poor birth recovery, etc). At some point they had to survive and push through. At some point they found themselves feeling like they were somehow living in a strangers body. Disconnected and weak. And many have sought help and received little encouragement. Many have chosen to accept weakness, pain, disconnect and more. Many have believed this is the cost of motherhood and growing older as a woman. Others have become obsessed with looking for solutions. Obsessed with all of the broken pieces of themselves. Obsessed with analyzing and evaluating every piece of themselves that is not working. Whether they have given up or are obsessively seeking help- most have little to no hope of getting better.
It is interesting how many women come to us at The Tummy Team and have very little hope or expectation that they will get better. Our first session is almost completely based on helping these clients to understand how their body was designed and why it is not functioning well and to give them HOPE. Some of our clients cling to this hope like it is a lifeline. Sadly many of our clients on some level reject the hope. It seems just too hard to hope. At least in the beginning. As we slowly begin changing things, hope starts to spring up, only to be squashed by the fear of healing.
Why would we be afraid to heal?
Healing can be scary. When we have decided to accept our situation (usually not an easy task),the thought of hoping with the risk of disappointment can be overwhelming. If we have adjusted our entire life around our weakness or our pain, it can be terrifying to consider what life might be like without those adjustments. We sadly can use pain and brokenness as a soft padding that buffers us from the world, that excuses us from connecting or investing or really living. If we have spent a large part of our life looking for "cures" or "treatments" or explanations for why cannot do certain things- without that need, what will we do with our time?
The truth is you were placed here to live your story. Our stories are not without pain and suffering. However, the truth is your body was created out of a perfect design. The truth is women were designed to have babies and not fall apart. The truth is our bodies were designed for a beautiful balance between stability and mobility. The truth is pain is your bodies way of revealing its boundaries so you will protect yourself. The truth is you were not designed to live broken, merely surviving and powering through life. The truth is you were designed to thrive and stand tall and walk as a glorious daughter of the one true King. The truth is healing is available.
There is a difference between hope and expectation. We as humans cannot help but compare ourselves to others and place expectations and therefore disappointment on our perceived failures. We all have a story. We all have our own unique journey. (I believe nothing is wasted in these stories.) We have hope in all things and we expect that healing will happen, yet we must be open to what that healing will look like.
Remember what the "core" is. The "core" is the structure and the foundation that everything else is built upon. It is the stabilizing force that allows for effective, pain free movement. It is the internal support for all of our external activity. It is essential for life. So healing your core is much more about what you are healing on the inside than simply what we look like on the outside.
As a culture, we focus so much on the external components of our life and even in our bodies and we forget that without the inside being solid, eventually the outside fades and fails. It is from within that healing comes. It is the structure, that sometimes you cannot see but you can absolutely feel that begins the transformation process.
Do not be afraid. You were not designed for an identity of brokenness. You were fearfully and wonderfully made.
In our clients we see true healing occur once they trust the truth. Once they trust that their body was designed for strength and balance. Once they believe in the power of the perfect design to heal and thrive. There are often external changes that are evident, but these changes are always as a result of an internal restoration. The light shines out of that solid foundation.
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