Real

I have been feeling a prodding to write this for some time now but there always seems to be something that gets pushed ahead.  A few discussions on the Private Tummy Team Client FB Forum really made me realize how important it may be for me to share this.

It is easy for people to develop an impression of someone based a a little information.  We all do it.  I notice this when clients first come to see me if they have watched some education videos I have posted or read my bio.  I see this flicker of recognition in their eyes when they see me, like they know me already.  It is actually very helpful as it allows people to trust us and allow us to help them even with more intimate issues.  But I also know that they have only seen a small blip of who I am.

The more people know about the work I do, the more assumptions are made.  Although, one blog will not share every intimate detail about myself, I do feel like some things that I share could really help people understand that I am just a person, just a mom, just a woman with many of the same struggles as them.

Yes, I have developed by the grace of God, I strong understanding of the body, alignment, rehabilitation etc.  Yes, I have years of experience to draw from.  And, yes, I work hard to learn more every day.  But I still struggle with the same things you all do.  So let's expose some lies and hopefully set some people free...

First, people like to assume since I run The Tummy Team that I am super thin and have a 6-pack (abs, not Coors Light).  I am not skinny and I do not have flat tummy.  I am 5'8" which is relatively tall for a woman (I am seriously an amazon beside everyone of my close friends- I don't think I have one close friend that is not at least 4 inches shorter than me.)  So due to that height, my weight is dispersed.  I weigh a lot.  A lot. How much? I honestly cannot say because I have not looked at a scale seriously since I was about 21.  When I was in college, I was a very competitive athlete and very fit.  At that time I had an insanely low body fat percentage, like 16% or something crazy, but still weighed 20lbs more than almost everyone on my swim team.  Maybe it is muscle, or dense bones, who really cares.  The scale took on a very negative place in my life so I chose to no longer measure my health by it.  Even when I am at the doctor or pregnant, I stand on the scale backward and ask them not to tell me the number. The number messes with my head.  I am size 12 ( a real size 12 not the junior size 12- why do they do that anyway?).  Sometimes I am a size 10 but usually I am a size 12.  When the size 12 does not fit well, I realize I need to adjust some things.  My belly measurement (at the belly button) ranges between 36 and 38" depending on many factors.  I do not measure all the time, but I know this because I demo the splints and if I am 36" the medium fits better, if I am 38" the large does.  I try to not sweat it.

Second, people assume I am super comfortable with my body.  Wrong.  I can be very self conscious of my tummy.  Personally, I have had so much healing in this area of my life and this area of my body that it does not affect me nearly as much as it has in the past.  But almost every client I have looks at my tummy and I imagine every on-line client zooms in and checks out my tummy when watching the videos.  It is human nature to be curious to see if this program "worked" for the teacher.  I really try to not let it control me but I am a woman and I have the same body image issues as everyone else.  Even when I was fit I did not have a washboard stomach.  I have stretch marks, extra skin and a very deformed poorly planned tattoo on my tummy.  However, I expose my tummy at every class I teach and give other professionals the opportunity to check my stomach.  We cannot allow fear to control us, so I look for every opportunity to stare that fear in the eye and overcome it.

Third, my diastasis is not completely closed.  I had a 6 finger very deep diastasis with a weak inactive core, no pelvic floor, horrific posture, no energy and chronic back pain just 4 years ago.  My diastasis now typically measures 1 shallow (closed) at the top, 1.5-2.5 shallow/medium at my navel, and 1-1.5 shallow at the lower measurement.  However, my posture has transformed, I lost 6-8 inches off my waist, I have a solid pelvic floor, tons of energy, incredible functional strength and no back pain.  The diastasis measurement is only one piece of the puzzle.  The elasticity of the connective tissue flucuates, it reacts to your menstrual cycle, it was very stressed and damaged so their can be residual changes to that tissue.  That measurement alone will never be the measurement of your success or failure.  And, often the more we focus on the number, the less it changes.

Forth, I move my body.  It is true that I live what I teach.  I am aware of my posture, alignment, how I sit, how I move, and how active my core is throughout the day.  But I move. I am not in the "rehab" phase of the program.  I have a lot of awareness and functional strength for what I ask my body to do, so I can do things without causing damage to my body. Not crunches, not v-sits but functional movements within reasonable ranges.  For instance,  I swim butterfly.   Butterfly can cause the ribs to flare, and my back does arch and the dolphin kick does put my body into a crunch at times.  I also do flip turns which is a flexed position.  My diastasis has not reopened because of this.  But I would not have been able to do even 2 years ago.  It is a process and a journey.

Fifth, I am not a fitness fanatic.  I cannot run, I suck at hiking, I cannot complete most of Bethany's Fit2B workouts without serious effort and fatigue (even the ones I filmed- look closely, I am sweating and exhausted).  I run a business, have 3 kids and a home to take care of, so I swim 2-3 times a week and do functional core exercises and stretches and a few other fun things here and there.  You just cannot do it all so I choose what I love and I choose to be in my kids lives.

I am sure there are other myths that need to be busted but these are the ones I feel people assume the most.  I have never intended to misrepresent myself.  I have found that especially with the internet where you can present what you want and omit what you don't, it is very easy for people to fill in the blanks with their own assumptions.  Sadly, I feel like people can either put me on a pedestal or be overly mean and critical.  Very few people hit the mark unless they really know you.

I firmly believe that "the Truth will set you free".  Spiritually and figuratively.  When women assume things that are incorrect and then try to live up to those imaginary standards, they live in a trap.  The "never good enough" or "I wish I was like so and so" trap,

We all have a story, a journey and a beauty to share.  Beauty is so much more about how you feel than how you look.  When you feel beautiful, it pours out of you.  Beauty is everywhere.  Don't miss it looking for something else or trying to be someone else.

Thanks for reading.

Kelly Dean, MPT
Founder of The Tummy Team